4 differences between going to the gym at home and going to the gym here

1. Attire.

I don’t know what you wear to the gym, but I usually wear spandex leggings and a big T-shirt. (Though now that I think about it, that’s what I wear most of the time. Whatever.) Anyway, you go to the gym, you put on your sweatpants or whatever and pull your hair back, and while you want to look at least presentable you’re not worried about looking like a total hot momma, right? But these Jordanian girls! These Jordanian girls! They show up in three piece work-out get ups that are color coordinated or little t-shirts that boat straight up bows and sequins. I wear the one pair of sneakers that I wear every day; they wear FLATS. FLATS. ON A TREADMILL. And while you’d think that we could all agree that I am the more properly attired for the gym, it is clear that they disagree. Jordanians are always a little more dressed up than I am, at all times—but I was still surprised to realize that this also applies to the gym.

2. Sweat.

No one else does it. Seriously. I humor myself to think that when I work out I work out pretty hard—this is because I have bad genes and am still trying to recover from the freshman 15...25...30 and having a mom who is, at 57 years-old, hotter than me. And I sweat a lot! I’ve made peace with it! Or at least I thought I had. These Jordanian girls jog on the treadmill like I do...they’re on the elliptical like I am...they’re doing the weight machines and crunches and leg lifts that I’m doing...but while you could wring enough out of my T-shirt to solve the water problem in three to four Middle Eastern countries, they’re all dry as a bone! Which leaves me huffing away in my inadequately cute workout get up, basically drowning in my own sweat. The kicker is, I’m jealous of their inability to not lose water, because

3. There’s no water.

Or should I say, no free water. You can buy it in plastic bottles for a good price, 250 fils...but there’s no water fountain. Of course, I realized eventually that this is because even if there were a water fountain we would still be unable to drink from it since the tap water here is undrinkable. Hence the bottled water, which is infinitely less convenient than a water fountain—though probably more convenient than whatever water-bourn disease has everyone in this city drinking Aquafina. Which makes me wish I were a little more like the cute Jordanians and losing a little less water during my hours at the gym.

4. Modesty.

At home, you can’t even wash your hands at the gym without running into like twenty naked old women! They’re everywhere! Changing, sitting in the Jacuzzi, laying in the sauna, moving between the Jacuzzi and the sauna, or just sitting! Naked! In the dressing room! As I myself am not the most modest of individuals (I once apologized to my housemate Holly for my lack of pants while I was making dinner in the kitchen, and her response was, “Honestly, I don’t even notice it anymore”) this is fine with me. In Jordan: nothing. No one is ever naked in the dressing room. No one is ever in her underwear in the dressing room. And there is only one changing room, which is always empty. Everyone but me seems to make a magical switch between their workout attire and their post-shower freshened selves. I have no idea how they do it. Usually I just dash in my towel from the shower to the changing stall muttering “afwan, afwan, afwan,” under my breath...but today I had forgotten to stow my backpack in the changing room beforehand and had to go back to my locker. All eyes were averted. That will never happen again.